by Hal_10000

The last couple of years, I’ve given out my awards for “Turkey of the Year” (2008, 2007).  The idea of the award is not to slam political/cultural figures who are the most harmful or the most dangerous, which is why I won’t be tagging Obama or his Congress.  No, the idea is to acknowledge those whom are the most deserving of mockery, those whose non-stop silliness makes the world go around and give punch lines to talk show hosts.

Be sure to pony up your nominees.  But my 2009 Turkeys of the Year are:

1) Mike Steele.  I was very bullish on Steele when he was tapped to head the Republic Party.  However, from embarrassing attempts to appeal to young people, to a web page that quickly became a running gag to a Republican purity test that consists entirely of things Republicans oppose—no solutions to any problems—he’s been ineffective at best.  He’s even losing the party to the Palin wing, having let them blow NY-23.  Barack Obama represents the biggest challenge conservatism has had in forty years.  Steele is not up to the challenge.

2) Glen Beck: Thank you so much, Mr. Beck, for becoming a national joke.  Thank you for constantly responding to Obamaism in the most hysterical and Godwin’s Law-afflicted prose.  To be fair, you should share this reward with Fox News, who, by editing footage of past protests into recent ones, is slowly trying to make true every hysterical liberal accusation ever made.

3) The Clinton State Department:  From the “reset” button to a protocol office that can’t seem to decide whether Obama should shake the Japanese Emperor’s hand or suck his dick, they’ve been an ongoing laugh track.

4) Sarah Palin: From her bizarre resignation to her dicey relationship with the truth, she is coming to represent everything that’s wrong the GOP.  A “genuine American” who is as phony as a three-dollar bill.  And please, Sarah, could you stop using the baby as a prop?

5) Andrew Sullivan: I still read his blog, which is always interesting and relevant.  But I need to set my browser to filter out all Sarah Palin posts.  His bizarre vixation upon her and her uterus would make Ahab say, “Whoa, dude.  You watched Oprah? Let it go.”

Dishonorable Mention: Elliot Spitzer, Carrie Prejean, Michael Moore, the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, Obama celebrity videos, the Mainstream Media, Joe Biden, Henry Louis Gates and James Crowley, the twerps caught up in ClimateGate.

However, it shouldn’t all be cynicism here.  In past years, I’ve also given out Golden Drumsticks to those who have me proud to be an American.  This year, I could really give it to the American people, who are paying closer attention to our government than the media whose job it is and who are weathering the economic storm with more grace, dignity and perseverance than a whole army of politicians.  But I’ll focus my kudos to:

1) The American Fighting Man.  They don’t care who is in Washington or what the politics are.  They continue to fight with courage, restraint and honor.  When history looks back, the US Armed Forces will stand taller than the Roman Legions.  The Fort Hood massacre was a stark reminder of how they represent the best of the nation.

2) Kimberly Munley and Mark Todd: These are the two civilian cops who stopped Nidal Hassan. And the amazing thing is that we have thousands of cops out there who would have faced down a killer with equal skill and courage.

3) George W. Bush: Yes, I’m as surprised as you are.  But he has been quiet in his post-presidency, unwilling to offer all but the most oblique criticism of his successor.  And his quiet and unpublicized visit in the wake of the Fort Hood tragedy was everything an ex-President should be.  I have the feeling that this will be a trend and that as bad a President as he was, he will turn out to be just as good an ex-President.

Have a safe and happy holiday everyone.